On being afraid…

Despite my general awesomeness and bad-assery, I’ve been afraid to do something lately. Crossfit.

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(The ladies of Crossfit Montgomery, taken from the official Crossfit Facebook page)

Though, I’m not afraid for the reasons you might think.

Like this:

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Or this:

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(That would be me, literally crying from exhaustion one morning and my hunky husband took a photo of it)

Or this:

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Which is incidentally what happened when I attempted to do 36 inch box jumps to the beat of Shoop.

A few stitches later, 3 weeks before my wedding, I was just happy it was my calf and not my face.

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Anyway, the point is, I’m not afraid of hard workouts, I’m not afraid of bleeding hands, or sore legs or disfigured shins (still have a scar)…

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I’m afraid, well more like intimidated, to do Crossfit in my second language: French. Where I live, not many people speak English, and my local gym box is totally francophone. My French is pretty good, and getting better by the day, fine for work, fine for shopping and socializing, but working out?!?!?!? SCARY.

I went with my (Francophone) husband to do a trial class, and spent a good part of it with the dude yelling “Baisse tes hanches! Baisse tes hanches!!!!” at me, much to my confusion (and mortification). Finally with a loud whisper from my hunky husband, plus a pointed physical cue from the Crossfit dude, I finally lowered my hips.

That’s not so bad, really, that I could deal with. But what really terrifies me is the thought of doing it without my trusty translator and holding up the whole class…. Basically what I’m afraid of is…. Looking stupid.

I know, it’s totally ridiculous. But there it is. I am afraid of looking stupid because I don’t know workout related French vocabulary and I won’t have a trusted Frenchy to be my buffer. Because so much of an hour-long Crossfit class is group oriented, I’m afraid of holding people back from getting a good workout and them quietly (or not so quietly) resenting the Anglo interloper in my tiny French town. Even though I do speak French, I just need some help in the workout department.

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I’d love to end this post with an inspirational message saying I’m going to get over my fears, open up a French/English dictionary and march down that box gym uh box, but I’m not. It has been holding me back for 6 months. Well, that and I would prefer to go to morning classes, but they don’t have any early enough to get me to work on time. But, I’m going to keep pondering it in the back of my mind until my balls get big enough to not care and be shy about my Anglo-ness and just go and work out with people who probably don’t give a F– that I’m a little slower due to my translating the instructions to English in my head.

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2 thoughts on “On being afraid…

  1. Having learned German but afraid to speak it for this very reason, I feel your pain.

    But who cares if you look stupid? This is not a miss universe pageant! Get your butt out there and WORK!

    Hope that helps.

  2. Pingback: A fun workout | 21 Days to be…

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